Monday, 15 December 2008

Tommy Sheridan postpones reality for a bit longer

Tommy Sheridan is going into the Big Brother house. Is that practice for his next wee stint in a new house? Get used to them watching you all the time Mr S! All joking aside, I don't think the comparisons with Gorgeous George Galloway stand up. I actually think that whilst BB finished GG, it will be the saving of oor Tommy. He's done some stupid things in his life (not least persisting with that ridiculous defamation case against the NOTW) but ... he's actually NOT stupid. He'll learn from others' mistakes, he knows what he needs to achieve in this (apart from making loads of dosh) and I think he's got a VERY good chance of winning it.

Tommy is a very likeable guy on a social level. He's friendly, interesting, intelligent and, I believe he is a very caring individual. (His main problem is his out of control ego but that will fade into the shade amongst the other "celebrities".) All of this will go down well amongst other housemates. The Scottish public are already fascinated with him and I reckon they'll be glued to this series. I'm addicted already and it's not even started.

I've always thought if I could place Tommy in any reality show, it'd be the X Factor. Not long after sitting in the gallery at his famous defamation case, I was listening to the following song and instead of seeing Richard Gere in his top hat and tails, it was Tommy I kept visualising breaking out into a song and dance routine. Have a shuftie at the lyrics and see if you get what I'm saying here. I've helpfully highlighted the most relevant bits!


Mr. Flynn, his honor is here


Thank you. Just a moment.You ready?


Oh Billy, I'm scared.

BILLY(Spoken)Roxie, you got nothing to worry about. It's all a circus, kid. A three ring circus. These trials- the wholeworld- all show business. But kid, you're working with a star, the biggest!


Give 'em the old razzle dazzle

Razzle Dazzle 'em

Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it

And the reaction will be passionate

Give 'em the old hocus pocus

Bead and feather 'em

How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

What if your hinges all are rusting?

What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?

Razzle dazzle 'em

And they;ll never catch wise!

Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle


Razzle dazzle 'em

Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous


Row after row will crow vociferous


Give 'em the old flim flam flummox

Fool and fracture 'em


How can they hear the truth above the roar?


Throw 'em a fake and a finagle

They'll never know you're just a bagel,


Razzle dazzle 'em

And they'll beg you for more!


Give 'em the old double whammy

Daze and dizzy 'em

Back since the days of old Methuselah

Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler

Give 'em the old three ring circus

Stun and stagger 'em

When you're in trouble, go into your dance (Tommy in top hat I'm picturing here!)

Though you are stiffer than a girder

They'll let you get away with murder

Razzle dazzle 'em

And you've got a romance

COMPANY(The same time as BILLY's)

Give 'em the oldRazzle Dazzle


Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle

Razzle dazzle 'em

Show 'em the first rate sorceror you are

Long as you keep 'em way off balance

How can they spot you've got no talent

Razzle Dazzle 'em


Razzle Dazzle 'em

Razzle Dazzle 'em

And they'll make you a star!

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